Face 39

Look Closer

What do you see?

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Look Deeper

Into my thoughts

After nearly 40 Days of posting pictures of beautiful people I challenged myself to the very same task. Photographed by my amazing husband, Rod, I was nervous and shy and admittedly it was hard not to feel a bit self-conscious. But when I saw my pictures and really looked at them, I was welcomed by positive thoughts and  even more love for the path I have been on in search of true beauty. It has been a long journey for me, one in which I am glad to have the company of others. Here is a glimpse into my personal thoughts. I’d love to hear yours.

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I didn’t want to post this picture (above) at first because of how my heavy wink distorted my face. But the longer I looked at it the more I saw the smile in my other eye. This picture won’t keep me from winking but makes me think that maybe this is why winks are so fast;)

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First thing I saw when I looked at this picture is that scar on my cheek from my adolescent years. Is that that the first thing you saw? Probably not. But my eyes are trained to look for that flaw each time I see a picture of myself. Why can’t I train my eyes to look for what I love first?

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I really liked seeing myself from this angle. I felt that feeling, kind of like when something takes your breath away. Maybe it isn’t the best picture of me but I had clearly never seen myself from this angle and my brain found it instantly fascinating. I never knew my nose was so long.

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I often posted pictures in #40Faces where people were talking. It was fun seeing picture of myself mid-sentence. Here Rod is asking me questions about how hard church was today with my little girl, Pixie. Funny, that my brow isn’t more furrowed!

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You may or may not have noticed my funny ears that stick out. I love them, but didn’t always. In fact, I was called Dumbo and made fun of as a kid because of them. Then one day my stylist told me I just needed to get over it and cut my hair pixie style. I am forever grateful for her. It was my first step in self-acceptance and has changed my life forever.

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You can’t see much of my face in this picture, but that’s okay. This picture highlights a feature that is dear to me. I never noticed my cheeks until I married my husband, that is, because my husband noticed them. He would often, and still does, caress my cheeks with the back of his fingers. A habit that my daughter has adopted through his example.

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I am in tears writing this post. Why? I can’t exactly say. But I think there is something powerful and moving about really looking at yourself and thinking about all the people who love you, that look at your face each day. They don’t see the flaws and imperfections they just see you and that is beautiful.

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Don’t stop here. There is one more face in the series! Click through to see Face 40!

The face we see is the one we should love.

Love your beautiful face!

~bedheadmom

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6 comments

  1. . . . .And sometimes the very things you see as “imperfections” are the very things others love about looking at you. You, My Friend, are one of the most beautiful people I know. EVERY TIME I see you my breath gets caught up. Not only because of your outward beauty, which is stunning, but also because of the powerful spirit that is always with you. You’re gentle, powerful, profound ways are not only seen but felt.

    Reading your thoughts about yourself was fascinating. To be honest, you are so good at helping others love the way they look that I thought you were perfect at it! I still don’t see the scar on your cheek or your ears that stick out. And I LOVE what you told about Rod and Pixie caressing your cheek. That is such a tender thought. Thank you for being so raw and so inspiring!

    • I am a work in progress… maybe it is the blind leading the blind, however, on this journey we won’t just find our way but eventually see clearly enough to see where we are going.

  2. Wendy, you’re seriously one of the most endearing and beautiful woman I have ever met. In your pictures what I love the most are your eyes and that sincere/ honest smile! I totally get the ear comment, mine stick out as well, although I was never made fun off I was very self-conscious of pony tails and just pulling my hair back but now I don’t really notice them, and my husband loves them. Your hubby comment almost made me cry as well, hooray for wonderful men who help us see ourselves the way we really are. The day you took my pictures he told me I looked beautiful, to my shame I told him I wasn’t even wearing makeup, he looked at me straight in the eye and told me: you don’t need it. Thank you for helping me grow and realize my hurtful internal monologue of things I wish were different. I have been blessed by knowing this short amount of time, thank you!

  3. What beautiful photos! I was wondering if we would get to see you….you’re just as lovely without makeup as with — Your husband is right. You don’t need makeup. I love your cheeks….didn’t even notice the scar or the ears until you mentioned them…and now that I see them I don’t see what you’re worried about. We all worry about things that no one else really pays much attention to, I guess. Loved reading how you felt about the project — from a participant’s standpoint. :-)

    • The truth is that I don’t need to worry about them but I do, however at the most minimal extent. I used to worry endlessly about my appearance but now I am truly starting to see myself. I wanted to share my most candid thoughts so everyone would know that I’m not perfect. I don’t see myself perfectly either but I do love myself and have learned to embrace my so called imperfections. They aren’t going away but I don’t feel sad or negative when I see them anymore. You’re right, We all really do worry about things that no one else really pays much attention to. That was my point in sharing with you all what I see when I see myself. I hope it has opened all of our eyes a little more to how critical we can be of ourselves when we shouldn’t be! Thank you for your comments and for being a part of the project.

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