It had been 3 days since we got home from my Grandma’s funeral in CA and the kids still were not back to their normal bedtime routine. To say they were having a hard time falling asleep is an understatement for sure. At least, they were having a hard time any time before 11pm and I was about to pull out my hair. It wasn’t fair, but maybe many would say it was, but on the second night I just lost it. I was frustrated and angry because all I wanted to do was rest and for things to return to normal as quickly as possible.
It was during the day on the 3rd day that I began to think about Jesus and the sacrifice he made for me. I often think of his life and teachings which bring me much comfort but still don’t know that I fully understand his sacrifice for me. What occurred to me was that in many ways I could practice the same sacrifice, restraint, empathy, love and service that he showed on a daily basis.
So that night, when all my patience had been sucked out of me, the moment when I began to feel entitled to my frustration and anger I thought of him. I can’t tell you how much it helped me. I felt my heart toggle between love and frustration, but in the end peace won and the kids fell asleep happily. It wasn’t early but at least there was peace. In their minds, in the room and in my heart.
I am sure that we are entitled to many different emotions. God created all of them. And sometimes we are just meant to feel them, deal with them and move on, no matter how unpleasant they may be. It isn’t often that I lose my temper and when I do I am quick to apologize. Still I can see the hurt in their eyes and wonder if there was another way I could have behaved. Still it will happen. But if ever I have the strength, I will trust in the Lord and sacrifice, as if feels to me, those unpleasant feelings for anything more positive. In this instance it brought peace. I hope that peace will continue, at least for a few more nights. It seems to already have set us in motion for truly getting back on schedule.
What have you sacrificed for peace?