The Sacrifice of a Mother

The bond between mother and daughter can be so deep and beautiful, especially so, as they grow and mature into a mother themselves. It is almost certain that, as they begin to raise their own children, they will ponder on the time they spent with their mother and even call on her many times for guidance on how to raise these beautiful little babies that are now theirs.

One can only imagine, until they have been called to bear it, how difficult it would be to lose your mother, as this next mother has, while in the throes of motherhood herself. Having to go about this labor of love without the guidance, wisdom and companionship of her mother that others are so privy to.

It was after hearing her story and then her family motto that I knew I had to interview her for this site. All families should have a motto/acronym like this!

My name is Cynthia

Mother to 5 kids who are:

God-fearing

Inspired

Leaders

Exemplifying the

Savior

My mother is gone but still with me.

And this is my bedhead…

IMG_7390

As I walk into her home I can see there is no hiding who Cynthia is. Hung on each wall is something she loves or that reminds her what is truly important in life. I can see how she cherishes her life with her kids and husband. And it is beautiful.

This one displays beautiful affirmations about their family that they have memorized.

 And while she is a Giles by marriage and love she will always be the daughter of a loving and dear mother, who just a short time ago, and just a handful of years after losing her dad, passed away as well.

Through the passing of her parents she has learned that there is some real growth missed if you don’t take advantage of the loss. Knowing this, because for 6 years after her father passed she didn’t let herself really grieve; there being a misconception for many who live the gospel, that you’ve got to pick yourself up and keep going because you know the truth, you know where he/she is; to continue to be bright, be cheerful. So when her mother died she didn’t shy away, learning much from the grieving process.

 As her mother lay dying, she would say, “I didn’t realize it would be so easy.”

 It wasn’t  easy for Cynthia and her sisters, though. She shares, “It was difficult for us because here we are mothers and women in general and what do we do? We make things live. We feed our children, we house little babies in our bodies and here I was helping her die. But it’s beautiful at the same time. Helping someone finish their work in the world.”

Her mother’s passing hit her especially hard during the delivery of her last baby, her loss leaving her with a void. She wished so much that she had just been able to pick her mother up from the airport so that she could be by her side.

Soon after she got home from the hospital, still in pain and needing to care for her new baby and other children, she learned, first hand, that many times the Lord sends angels to help us, mortal and immortal.

Upon returning home, a woman, who had just taken care of her daughter, called and said, “I am coming to your home.” Cynthia wanted to scramble to get ready and clean the house, telling her husband to tell this dear woman to come the next day. But wisely she insisted, “I’m coming at 9 o’clock. I know exactly what she needs. And I’m coming.” She not only came the next day but for 2 days until others were able to step in and help out as well.

“While she was there I felt something stop me and say, “Listen, listen to what you hear.” So I’m laying in my bed, and all the kids are gone, everybody took my kids, and as I listen I hear my mother, so sweet, in my house, but she’s another women, right? I just listen — this sound is familiar— cupboards shutting, dishes being washed. She’s my mother’s hands.  That was a sweet moment when I felt close to her.”

At another time, upon entering a room where her sister was sitting who had had a hard day, Cynthia felt so strongly that her mother was there. She dismissed the thought when she became unsure of the feeling. But the feeling came again. The doubt finally left and she became certain of what she had felt when these words came strongly to her mind and to her heart. She firmly believes there are angels around us that are as real as we are, and always near by although we don’t see them.

“When you think they’re there, they’re there and know that they arrived yesterday. Long before that moment of I’m breaking or I’m broken.”

 Having grown so much from the life lessons learned from her mother’s passing she can now see that, in a way, her mother, being so willing to die, willing to accept the Lord’s will that her life was coming to an end, “was the final sacrifice that she made,” on her behalf. “She showed me how to endure.”

Now, she shares,”I’m even at a point that I would never request, if we were given that opportunity to request {her} return, that my mom be here again. I could never. I don’t want that. I understand that her death is a part of who I’ve become, who I’m supposed to be.”

Although her mother and father are gone, they are definitely not far away and she is most certainly not alone. For guidance, wisdom and companionship has always and will forever more come from the same loving source it always has, her God.

I am thankful that Cynthia was so willing to bear her heart to us about such a tender part of her life. What a sweet mother she is and an amazing soul she is growing into, as she humbly learns, no matter how difficult, the lessons that God has prepared for her.

Along with being a, God-fearing, Inspired, Leader(s), Exemplifying the Savior, I have come to know her as a mother who is a:

Cherished

Young at heart

Never

Thoughtless

Healer

In tune with everything around her

Always

May we cherish our mothers and all the sacrifices they make.

~bedheadmom

Click here to read about other bedhead moms!

9 comments

  1. I had no idea my sister was doing this, I just cried through the entire post.

    We come from a great heritage, strong willed women and men who stayed strong in their beliefs, it’s in our blood. We don’t come from “mediocre” our parents learned from their parents and theirs. I know they are all pushing for us and aiding us in our journey, until we can be with them again. The biggest lesson I learned from both of our parents passing was, if you look for the ways in which the Lord is carrying you through the trial you could never shake your fist at heaven but know that he loves you dearly and wants to make it as easy as possible to endure. I love my sister Cynthia, she is a wonderful example to me of forgiveness, understanding, empathy and a genuine love for others. I am so grateful to come from such wonderful parents who weren’t perfect, but showed us anything is possible.

    • Thank you for adding that depth to this post. The more I learn of your family, the more I love them! I was honored to be able to interview her. Thank you again for your comments.

  2. That was a wonderful reminder to read. It takes my mind to all of the experiences I’ve had with loved ones past. I love that she knew that woman, who came after her child was born, was her mother’s hands. They really are helping us so often, giving us encouraging words, guiding our thoughts. I love also that the way she saw it reminds me of wanting to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands….which is the same mission of our loved ones past. Isn’t it wonderful! All serving the Lord, helping and loving each other. Beautiful woman and post. :) I’ve been inspired!

  3. Wendy, you did a beautiful job of painting the perfect picture of my dear sister. I love your mission. This is wonderful. And thank you for helping us to honor our dear mother.

    • It was such an honor, really. I think I am the luckiest person in the world that I get to sit down and talk with each of these special girls and get to learn how amazing they really are!

  4. Truly, you Budge women are all amazing. I feel privileged to know you & be a part of your family. What a great post! And might I add that since I met Cynthia, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say anything negative about anyone. Ever. She has an amazing gift to automatically look for the good in everyone around her. I know your parents are proud of you and all your brothers & sisters and who you have all become. What an amazing family you are.

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